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Saddam Not Guilty Plea Throws Prosecution Into Turmoil

Saddam Hussein’s not guilty plea at the commencement of his trial threw the prosecution into confusion today and cast a shadow over the whole proceedings. Hundreds of lawyers and other people connected with the world’s shadiest profession were seen aimlessly milling around outside the court. “We never imagined for a moment that he might be innocent”, said one lawyer. “Our whole case has been built on the premise that he is as guilty as sin. This is a development that is going to shake the whole world of international jurisprudence.”

Innocent Until You Aren’t

Since Iraq is a country where people are usually held innocent until they aren’t, it comes as a devastating blow to a prosecution whose shaky case been relying on video footage, confessions and thousands of eye witness statements.

Saddam’s defence team are confident that their man will get off. “This is obviously a case of mistaken identity. Let’s face it there must be thousands of people walking round Iraq who look just like my client”. Another of the defence team told us that at the time of the so-called incidents, Saddam “was somewhere else and we can prove it.”

Alibi

Alibis aren’t easy to come by in Iraq but the Bugle has managed to unearth several that Saddam may be planning to use in his defence:

1. Practising conversational Italian in case he took a holiday on Lake Como

2. Attending a formal mess dinner held by the Gordon Highlanders

3. Auditioning for the role of Tevye in a West End production of Fiddler On The Roof.

Whilst these may appear plausible, there will be many who will want the facts investigating fully before setting Saddam free.

Al-Tikritis Over The Moon

One prominent member of the Al-Tikriti family was thrilled by the news. “We always knew that he was innocent. I remember him visiting us shortly after returning from London. He leapt onto the roof of our humble house and gave us a marvellous rendition of ‘If I Were A Rich Man’ in Italian, although at the time we didn’t understand the significance of the kilt.”

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